My Life and Where I’m At

It is 2:37 a.m. and I really should be getting into bed. However, I took a really great nap earlier so I am not ready to check out just yet. 

I have had some changes in my life and some thoughts in my head so I thought I would write them out. So here goes!

First, and most importantly, I have had a wonderful career change that could not make me happier! On June 3, 2013, I started working for Quicken Loans as a Training Consultant. After suffering at Flagstar for as long as I did, this position is the best relief. I am so appreciative of this job! It is really perfect for me. It combines my experience in mortgage servicing, my people skills, and my natural understanding of psychology and the learning process. 

I could be angry at Flagstar for all the bullshit they put me through, but I really should thank them. Without their abuse, I would never know what I am worth and what I could possibly do. They really motivated me to better my life. I put myself through the ringer trying to get a position at Quicken Loans. No one will ever really know the joy it brought me when I was chosen to join the Servicing Training Team there. I am still green to this position, but I am 100% motivated to becoming the best trainer and making my team proud. They invest a lot in me, so I turn want to repay them with success and dedication!

Financially, this is a huge score for me. On my half birthday of July 12, 2013, I finally became financially stable! No more working two jobs, or struggling to make ends meet after quitting my second job in anticipation of a raise that never came. Now that I have caught myself up where I needed to, I am ready to rock and roll! I will, for the first time in a long time, have money left over in my checks to actually save AND spend on leisurely activities! Now I can start taking the weekend trips and do the updates to my apartment that I have wanted! Also, once I become seasoned and my lease is over, I will be able to buy a home! My own home! My very own piece of the world!

My financial problems caused by my pay issues at Flagstar caused me to experience a depression and low self confidence. I feel those really starting to slip away now. I am bouncing back and feeling great about it! 

I am also really excited that not only am I back on my fitness plan after my rib was jacked up, but I am really cranking it out hard at the gym! I am finding my confidence is getting higher because I just strut around naked in the locker room and I don’t care. I am going to achieve my dream body! Especially now that I can afford the tools I need like my Serious Mass and 1.M.R. I no longer have to sacrifice those items just to buy food to last me. 

However, there are a couple of things that I am having issues with. Both are extremely large parts of who I am. Being gay and being Albanian.

Let me break the two down:

Being gay: I love that I am gay. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t. The issue that I have is being gay in Detroit. I fucking hate it. This is an awful place to be gay. The gay scene is the size of a dime. Dating and meeting someone new is a slim to zero chance when you are single. I’m not the kind of guy that is dying to have a boyfriend, but it would be nice to know that it could be an option. I go to the gay bars here and they are all the same people, and no one that I am interested in. Online is the same shit too. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may not meet someone. That is O.K though. I have many other plans for my life that don’t include someone. I go to straight bars too, but that can sometimes leave me feeling like the odd man out. It’s also depressing because those bars have all these good looking straight guys that I wish I would see at a gay bar. 

Being Albanian: I am very proud of my Albanian heritage. My parents came from Kosova and I have been there twice to visit. We have a very rich and beautiful culture. I would not be Valdet Selimaj had I not been born Albanian. I am just not always proud of other Albanians. Albanians can be very fucking small minded. You try being both Albanian AND gay. That severely limits my friendship pool. It can be a real fucking pretty time. Albanians can also be very douchey sometimes. The shit that they do. Talk about socially retarded. Occasionally I find myself wishing I had more Albanian friends, then other times I am grateful I don’t really have any. My family is good enough for me. 

I know this is my frustration talking and I shouldn’t be bashing anyone, but that’s where I’m at. 

I don’t know what to do about those two. Like we say at Quicken Loans: “We’ll figure it out.” 

Now I am a little tired. But that is where I current stand in a blog post nutshell. 

Good night

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